Brandon - Part 3
Home Up Brandon - Part 2 Brandon - Part 3 Brandon - Part 4 Brandon - Part 5 Brandon - Part 6 Brandon - Part 7


What Do Crows Eat?

That was the next puzzle to be solved. I called up a wild bird store (they sell humming bird feeders, bird seed feeders and all sorts of expensive junk for your back yard to attract birds). They couldn't figure out why in the world I would want to attract "those scavengers" to my yard. I told them I had crows anyway and I figured it would be a nice thing to be neighborly. They called me a nut, said crows eat anything anyway and hung up on me.

My next attempt was to call up the local office of the Audubon Society and they said that crows would eat anything that was given to them, including the eggs of other birds. The woman said that made them the abortionists of the bird world and that they should not be encouraged if I had any other birds in the area.

The final attempt was to call the county wildlife center (and small zoo) to ask them. The ranger who spoke to me said that they had a couple of ravens in a cage and they gave them whatever the local supermarket donated: vegetables that had started to rot; bad meat, (including the chop meat into which kids stick their fingers through the plastic wrap); and whatever other things were around, such as dead mice (used to feed the eagles).

Now I had to figure out what to do. I just wanted to keep this guy alive until I could think of a place that would accept him. For the time being, it was just table scraps from our house and Kathy's. 

"Hello, Would You Like A Handicapped Crow?"

The first people I called were the municipal "animal control" officers. I told them that I had a wounded, but surviving, Common Crow that needed a home. I was told that they didn't know of anyone who would accept a crow and that I should just let him go. I explained that he had a deformed foot and a misshapen wing. The officer on the other end of the phone said, "Yeah? That's too bad" and hung up.

Next, the wildlife center. I figured they were polite when I asked them about the feeding habits of the crow, so why not try them. The same ranger laughed at me. He said that there were a lot of crows around and nobody would want one, especially one in the shape he was in.

A Disappointment and A Solution

Time to call the woman at the Audubon Society. She said that crows were not worth the trouble and I should just let nature take its course by letting him go. 

I asked what prompted her to say that? She said that there must be some reason that his parents threw him out of the nest and that I shouldn't have interfered. I answered that if I did that, one of the neighborhood cats would be sure to get him. Her answer was that it "might be God's will that he be food for a cat"! 

At this point I blew up at her and called her a hypocrite. I said that the Audubon Society must advocate post birth abortion. She said that she was "Pro-Life" and that there was no such thing as post birth abortion. I said that "infanticide" was exactly what she was asking me to do with this crow, and that's probably the least "Pro-Life" stance I had ever heard. She then launched into a rave about how she was a Christian and that was a terrible thing to accuse her of. I told her that more killing was done in the name of Christ than in the name of Hitler and she should do some research into the Inquisition. At this point she began to sputter some incoherent Biblical babble, so I hung up on her.

I was fuming. How dare she tell me to allow him to become cat food...CAT FOOD! THAT'S IT! Crows usually eat whatever road-kill comes along! That and whatever they can cull out of someone's garbage can (I'd seen them ripping the heck out of the trash bags)! This is a wonderful revelation! Plus, it would bring a whole new meaning to "you are what you eat"!

Back Home Up Next

All contents 1999 - 2009 Masklyn Arathorn. All Rights Reserved.

T-shirts, Mugs, Mousepads, etc. with all profits going to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund.

Created and Managed with FrontPage.